Mermaid or Whale

I read this  and thought Yes! how I would have loved to have been the one who wrote it.

Mermaid or Whale
Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.
It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
  A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

 To Whom It May Concern,
 Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)
 They have an active sex life,  get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.
They have a wonderful time with  dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.
 They play and swim in the seas,  seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea  and the coral reefs of Polynesia .


 Whales are wonderful singers  and have even recorded CDs.
 They are incredible creatures  and virtually have no predators  other than humans.
 They are loved, protected and admired  by almost everyone in the world.


 Mermaids don't exist.  If they did exist,  they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts  due to identity crisis. Fish or human?
 They don't have a sex life  because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have  sex?    Just look at them ... where is IT?
 Therefore, they don't have kids either.    
 Not to mention,  who wants to get close to a girl who smells  like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me:
 I want to be a whale.

 P..S. We are in an age  when media puts into our heads  the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice  cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of  chocolate with my friends.
 With time, we gain weight  because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads  that when there is no more room,  it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
 So we aren't heavy,  we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.
 Beginning today,  when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,
¨Good grief, look how smart I  am!¨
  Author Unknown.....